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THE
DESCENDENTS 'Merican (Fat Wreck Chords) by Tonsills
These guys get a five just for coming out of retirement, and bringing punk rock joy to our lives. In a time where pop-punk means New Found Glory and Blink 182, The DESCENDENTS come back and show us how off track we've been for the past decade. The ONLY disappointment I found with 'Merican is it's shortness, but that will change when The DESCENDENTS release their new full-length Cool to Be You on 3/23. These four tracks ("'Merican", "Here With Me", "I Quit"/"Alive", "Nothing With You") take a trip back to the pop-punk some of us were fortunate to grow up with, and I hope it starts making a come back. You can only take songs about breaking up with chicks, and rejection so far. It's time for it to end, and instead time for Ph. D Milo Aukerman and this punk rock all-star team known as The DESCENDENTS to get the proper credit. Some of these tracks are reminiscent of the old school Bad Religion days, but that's not to say they're bad. That's the punk rock these guys have lived with for so long, and much to their credit they have yet to change. Without question 'Merican is a definite must have. I'm sure it's just a small taste of what we'll "enjoy" with Cool to Be You. - - - - -
THE
DESCENDENTS 'Merican (Fat Wreck Chords) by Bryan
They are finally back from hiatus (last album was in freakin' 96!) and decided to write some new songs and put out 2 new albums. 'Merican is a little bit like an appetizer for when full length comes out in March. 1 or 2 tracks that are on here appear on the full length as well. This EP sounds very similar to their last album Everything Sucks and that's a good thing because that album was great. In 'Merican , they actually sound like Bad Religion; Milo sounds like Greg. Hey that's not negative it's just a coincidence. You can tell this band still has it and every album they release, their music gets more polished and tighter. While Milo is not playing in the band, he's a rocket scientist and the rest of the band does ALL. So that's why the band members minus Milo don't sound rusty or anything. But overall, the EP is a great appetizer until the new full-length comes out and boy will that CD rock your mother fucking socks off! Worth Buying? It's worth it if you love the DESCENDENTS but 4 songs is not that much. Might be worth getting their full length in 2 months. But then again, EP's are cheap and this is the DESCENDENTS after all! Yeah, I changed my mind, get it! Notable Tracks: "Nothing With You" "Merican" - - - - -
THE
DESCENDENTS 'Merican (Fat Wreck Chords) by Dane Jackson
The DESCENDENTS haven't really put out a significant release since Everything Sucks. Sure, there was the bonus live disc that came with ALL's Live Plus One release, but fans of the DESCENDENTS haven't been able to hear original songs for a long time now. That's all about to change in 2004 though. The band breaks their silence not once, but twice this year. First, there's the 'Merican EP that serves as a taste of what's too come. So, how does 'Merican hold up? After hearing it, I think it's safe to say the band's full length that comes out later this should be the most anticipated album of 2004. It's clear to me that there's no rust to clear away from being away so long. Sure Bill, Karl, and Stephen have been playing with ALL, but Milo has been staying pretty low key in the punk music scene. Instead, he went and got a PhD. The EP breaks down into four tracks, with a hidden track thrown in for good measure. It's almost as if the band never took a hiatus. It's evident the band has grown up because lyrically, the songs are more introspective and intelligent than before. The angst is still there, as shown in "I Quit", but with every song it seems that the band has reached a point in their life where they're content. 'Merican is fun, smart, abrasive, political, and everything a DESCENDENTS' album should be. The band's interested in having fun and enjoying themselves with their music, so here's to hoping they're having more fun than before because after hearing 'Merican, I don't want them to go away for a while. This is the perfect EP to get to excited and prepared for what should be one of the best albums of 2004. - - - - -
THE
DESCENDENTS 'Merican (Fat Wreck Chords) by Joel Scheingross
The DESCENDENTS are back! It's been over seven years since their last release (Everything Sucks - 1996), and from the first spin of 'Merican it's obvious they haven't lost a beat. This EP (out February 10th, 2004) is released to promote their upcoming full length (Cool To Be You) coming out March 23rd on Fat Wreck Chords and features two songs from the upcoming LP, two exclusive to the EP, and a bonus, "secret" song. 'Merican shows the kings of pop punk in their true form; from songs about doing nothing and watching TV ("Nothing With You") to calling out bands that play music for cash and not love ("I Quit"), and even getting political dealing with the paradox of being American in the 21st century ("'Merican") Milo and company have a working formula to deliver songs that are fun to listen to regardless of how loud you like to blast that Blood Brothers CD. Long time fans should not hesitate to add this to their collection, if you're new to the band you may want to wait for the full length (the exclusive songs are good, but aren't as necessary as the preview songs from Cool To Be You). I don't care if they formed back in 1978, the DESCENDENTS still know how to bring the rock; we can only hope that a tour is in the works. - - - - -
THE
DESCENDENTS 'Merican (Fat Wreck Chords) by Puckett
So, Milo and the boys are back, nearly 8 years after their last album, Epitaph's Everything Sucks. These guys were the pioneers of pop-punk songs of teenage angst and love. When everyone else was on their screw authority bandwagon these guys wrote songs about not getting the girl and trouble at home. These guys nearly invented the genre, and the pop punk community knows that. Ever notice that DESCENDENTS tatoo on Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, hear Millencolin play a DESCENDENTS cover or Kris Roe plug including the band on a Mix tape? There's a reason these guys who the kids go nuts over today love the DESCENDENTS. Inspiration. So, with a million or so pop punkers out there looking to the DESCENDENTS for inspiration, Milo, Karl, Stephen and Bill are up for a challenge. Can they compete with the genre they helped create. Honestly, they blow a lot of the competition away. This four song EP contains all the catchy hooks and insightful yet basic lyrics the band is known for; a couple of spins has you singing along, and a few more spins has you really analyzing what's being said. "Nothing with You" and "Here with Me" are the ablums relationship songs. The former is a clever declaration of love and comfort in doing nothing with someone, and be happy all the same, while "Here with Me" talks about the emptiness of going on when the relationship ends. Both songs are powerful examples of how a 'DESCENDENTS Love Song' works, and are great for introducing new and younger fans to the sound, who might have missed out on the classics of "Hope" and "I'm The One." "'Merican", the title track, presents the dichotomy that is being American. Where so many punk bands want to focus on the band in the post-"Bush War II: Electric Boogaloo" era, the song's author Karl Alvarez chooses to focus on all the things he hates and all the things he's proud of. This is the land of "Ben Franklin, Twain and Poe and Walt Whitman," while also being the "Land of the Slaves and the Klu Klux Klan." We have much to be proud of, but as he notes, just as much to be embarassed about and not want to do again. Overall, the four song EP's downside is that... it's a four song EP. It works as a tide over until Cool To Be You in March, but at the same time, it's a total tease. Two of these songs, "'Merican" and "Nothing with You" will also appear on that record, making the other two (and that bonus fifth track) will be exclusive to this little guy. Pick it up. High recomendation. - - - - -
"SEVEN
DAYS IN THE SOUTH BAY - The Beach Cities' Punk Rock Legacy" by Garrison Frost
Little do you know how wrong you are. Despite their reputation for high properly values, surfers and blondes ' the beach cities are also one of the original homes of punk rock and, of course, punkers. No one's exactly sure when the punk scene formed in the South Bay, hut a good guess would say it was when Greg Ginn and a few of his friends formed a band called Black Flag in Hermosa and started practicing at the old Bath House in 1976-77. As the years went by, Black Flag moved into the community church on Manhattan Avenue and started issuing records out of their label, SST. The band would gain a huge youth following and become notorious among adults for various antics, such as prompting a riot at the otherwise tame Concert in the Park at Manhattan's Polliwog Park. Hermosa's band was banned in most places. Other bands would follow, perhaps most notably the DESCENDENTS, most of whose members hailed from Mira Costa. Hermosa Beach was home to Media Arts, the studio where much of Southern California's punk music was recorded. Bands played at homes or at clubs like the Fleetwood in Redondo. Stores like Re:Style in Hermosa Beach helped keep the culture alive, selling Zippo lighters, trench coats and boots. Punk has changed over the years. While yesterday's young listener was likely something of an outcast, today's is probably the captain of the football team. Nonetheless, the beach cities continue to foster a punk scene One of the biggest punk acts in the world right now is Pennywise, whose members are local guys who recorded their First record on a small label in Hermosa Beach. Small bars and garages are still full of punk bands, and they're even a regular staple at the Manhattan Hometown Fairs 'Battle of the Sands." So the next time you see a group of punkers make a mess of a dance floor, try to remember that it's just as much part of the local culture as volleyball and ocean views. - - - - -
THE
DESCENDENTS Everything Sucks (Epitaph Records) by Alex Steininger
Milo Aukerman is back on vocals, and the DESCENDENTS are back to show you how to enjoy yourselves. With a style that goes from pop-punk to fast paced punk, no matter what you call DESCENDENTS, you have to call them energetic punk. And here they are to teach you everything you ever wanted to know about... Everything Sucks starts off with a fast paced punk anthem called "Everything Sux." Is it a title track? Or does the "x" substitute for "cks" mean that it's not? Who knows? Maybe it's just something that went off in my mind? Track two is the radio hit "I'm the One." It starts out with fairly slow guitar, and then it kicks you on the ground with a medium tempo track about a man who loves a women, but she doesn't love him. She's too tied up in her bad relationship. But he is always there for her..."I'm the one who wants you more than anything/you don't feel the same way/you made it clear to me/but I'll stand my ground and maybe/you'll hear what I've been sayin'/after all I've said and all I've done." Track three is a lightning fast song called "Coffee Mug." Pure, sweet, and fast. There's no breather in this song. Non stop energy from start to finish. Track six, "Caught," starts out with a killer bass line, and then into the medium-paced structure of the song, and suddenly the chorus sinks into you like a vampire into his prey. Your hooked. The music is great, but the lyrics are the most addictive part of the song. With lyrics like, "Junkie drug dealer does 50 years time/while the millionaire murderer just pays a fine/it's a sign of the time/it's the ultimate crime/guilty of being caught red handed." Track nine, "She Loves Me," hooks you from the starting. With the hooky guitar, the beat of the drums, and the bass, but then when the vocals enter and the track picks up, you are lost inside the world of DESCENDENTS. Like all tracks on this album, you get hooked, but then the chorus hits you and there's no turning back. You've been sold on the album. My favorite track on the album, "We," is a very addictive pop-punk tune Milo wrote for his wife. From the hooks, to the emotions all through this song, this is definitely an album stand out! There are fifteen tracks total on this album! I'm sure you'll find one, ten, or all of them to your approval! Whether you are going to pick up this album because your a big fan of ALL, you heard "I'm the One" on the radio, or because of this review, just remember, PICK THIS ALBUM UP!!!!! It will blow you away. One of the best albums of 1996, and I'm sure it will sustain it's position and be one of the best albums in 1997! An A+ for sure! I would even score this album higher if I could! - - - - -
"P[UNK]-SAT" The following questions test your knowledge of hardcore's old and new schools. If you pass with flying colors, you can move on to college rock. 5.
Spike has heard that the 1982 album Milo Goes to College
is a seminal influence on all the new pop-punk he and his friends
love to mosh to, but a bump on the head from an uncaught stage-dive
the night before has caused him to partially lose his memory, and
he can't remember the name of the band that recorded the LP. When
he heads to his local record shop to purchase it, what group should
he ask for? 6.
After Milo left the band, former members of the aforementioned group
formed another band, which has recorded eight albums before recently
signing to Interscope. What is the band's name? - - - - -
THE
DESCENDENTS ALL (SST) by Edwin Pouncey This brat-pack from the South Bay of California USA christened their second LP I Don't Want To Grow Up. A brave attempt to stay forever young, a holler to hold back the clock while they dune-buggy crazily through the sands of time. The DESCENDENTS know that it's no fun being of time. ALL is their latest report card from the college of hard knocks, and every track's an A-plus for effort and originality. They're having too much fun to fully grow up, however ALL reveals a maturity in The DESCENDENTS' brand of slam pop. Somehow all those little cartoony ideas are taking on a stronger form and filling in. Light, shade, and dark are creeping into the corners of their funny-page musical stance. You'll find yourself casually flipping through ALL at first, but sometimes you'll stop, and go back to a part that has caught your ear. 'Van'' is one of those moments for me. I love the way it stalls and then revs up dirtily into action with no muffler. 'Ice-man' is another, presumably dedicated to the super hero in X Men comics, or probably not. Whatever you decide, it's still a cool song, complete with a near parody of Black Metal mumbling squashed of the tightest arrangements I've heard all year. Let's only hope that after ALL we'll soon be treated to 'MORE' before they get any older. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
ALL SST, LP The inevitable fusion of hardcore energy with pop forms has been a slow process at best. with some visionary bands just beginning to stretch in that direction The DESCENDENTS have always had youthful exuberance to spare, but ALL channels that energy better than any of their previous efforts — the songwriting is first rate (and a bit rude.) The guitars crunch and the vocals are clean. With a higher profile label behind their most fully-realized LP, the DESCENDENTS are firmly on the - bands that just might find a mainstream audience some day soon. Top cuts: "Clean Sheets," "All-O-Gistics," "Coolidge," "Cameage," "Pep Talk." (SST, P.O. Box 1, Lawndale, CA 90260) - - - - -
"Musical
Notes - The DESCENDENTS: California's next Beach Boys?' by Troy Taroy Rock critics, whether they be jaded '60s veterans or snotty college hacks, all have an annoying tendency to distinguish the latest, rising young artist as the next Dylan. the next Beatles, the next Stones, or the next Julio Iglesias. And although it can be quite irritating, there are some cases in which the "Next fill-in-the-blank" syndrome is simply unavoidable, especially since I feel it totally accurate to say that the DESCENDENTS (sic - don't ask me why) are the next Beach Boys. At first, that doesn't sound terribly impressive. The next Beach Boys? I mean, after visualizing images of overweight, middle-aged men wearing Hawaiian shirts, and singing slightly off-key about cruising babes, one feels compelled to ask, "Do we really need another Beach Boys?" Well, regardless of whether you think so or not, ALL, the DESCENDENTS' fourth album and their first for the maverick SST label, has got the spunk, humor and groovy tunes that made the Beach Boys so great in their heyday. In fact, on Enjoy, their previous LP, they did a thrashing cover version of the Beach Boys' "Wendy." They don't sing about surfing, and they don't actually sound like the Beach Boys in any way that you could accuse them of cheap '60s revivalism. However, they are a California band that sings about girls and possess a distinctly American middle-class sense of fun, fun, fun. Beyond that, it would suffice to say that they simply rock out. Pop music never sounded so rad.. "Coolidge" and "Clean Sheets" bash out happy melodies with punk nastiness. They approach Minutemanly rhythmic sophistication on "Van," and neo-classical drama on "Cameage." And to top it all off, "All," which the band has made a video to, is probably the best one second song I've ever heard in my life. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
ALL (SST) by Pat Thomas Many people have compared this band to the Replacements and with good reason--they cover a line somewhere between the Mats' 'Stink' and 'Let It Be' albums. But the DESCENDENTS have been making records since '79, so this is no mere rip off. The writing is catchy without pop hooks and hides an emotional depth to the lyrics that an unsupplied lyric sheet or more listening would uncover. Get into the DESCENDENTS now, before they get big, sign to a major label, and belong to no-one. (P.O. Box 1, Lawndale, CA 90260) - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
ALL (SST) by Anne Clark 'Thou shalt not suppress flatulence/take the van's name in vain.' OK, I'm not a guy and don't revel in farting, and other rituals of good ol' van camaraderie. Thankfully, on ALL the DESCENDENTS get it out of their system on "Van". 'Thou shalt not commit laundry/ hygiene/adulthood.' They're much better on a song like "Clean Sheets" (not really about laundry). The harder songs are fine but these guys soar when the hooks and harmonies. take over. Absolutely essential pop: "Clean Sheets", "Cameage", "Coolidge" arid "Pep Talk". Thou shalt not allow anything to deter you in your quest for ALL. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
ALL (SST) ALL by the DESCENDENTS (SST) is one of those great "punk band coming of age" LPs. These guys are about where the Replacements were on 'Hootenanny' There's some great stuff here, "Van," "Clean Sheets," "Pep Talk" ' and the DESCENDENTS are a likely pick for the future brilliancy prize. Get this. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
Enjoy! New Alliance, LP by "C.E." Doggone refreshing to hear an LA. hardcore band that has neither stuck to loud 'n' fast anti-Reagan whining nor succumbed to tough-guy arena-rock tedium. These non-punks (whose favorite lyric subject used to be food) would rather pick up girls with new wave haircuts, fart in each other's faces, try to figure out "the difference between a whore and a concubine", take on Hüsker Dü and Motley Crüe, change all their song titles from the album jacket to the record label to confuse critics, and write incredibly melodic (and sincere!) powerschlock love songs. Add their eight-minute arena-rock anthem and their 43-second loud 'n' fast blitz, and you've got every base covered, seems to me. (P.O. Box 1224, Lomita, CA 90717) - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
Enjoy! Restless, LP by Larry Kelp Unlike Uncle Bonsai or Rain-makers, Los Angeles' punk-rock DESCENDENTS don't know the difference between good and bad taste. Enjoy!! (Restless) has both in abundance, beginning with the cover painting of a hand reaching for an empty toilet paper roll, and a list of songs that aren't on the record. The trio bashes out the Beach Boys' ballad, "Wendy," then plunges into its best legal drug song, "Kids on Coffee," a speedy journey from Los Angeles to San Diego with a carload of caffeine freaks. All in 43 seconds!. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
Enjoy! Restless, LP And on to some music . . . Being a caffeine addict myself I'll start with the DESCENDENTS, who, on their new album, Enjoy! (Restless) sing about coffee, new wave girls, and flatulence. You'll find some hardcore and some songs like "Cheer" or even more so, "Get The Time", that let you know what great pop is . . . - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
Enjoy! Restless, LP The DESCENDENTS say "Enjoy!", and progressive programmers heed the message, as the latest from these perennial pop-punksters climbs 44-22 College and enters the Commercial charts at 89, making for a combined move 47-26. DESCENDENTS fans are loyal, and a new album is big news. Bucks in their pockets, they're off to the record store for their own Enjoyment, earning the album a #14 debut Progressive Retail. Those sans bucks get on the phones with their requests, gaining the DESCENDENTS the #14 Audience Response slot. On Deck is "Wendy' (yup. the Beach Boys song-now ya know where the group's been learning their oh-so-cool pop melodies from), with "Sour Grapes" coming up from behind. Getting top ten Enjoyment from the DESCENDENTS are KCSN, KHSU. KLA, KLMU. KSCU KSPC. KXLU (#1), WHRW, WHUS. WLFR, WNUR. WONY, WPRB. WREK WRHU (#1!), WRST. WSIA (#1!). WSSU, WUSO and WXDU. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
ENJOY! New Alliance Records, LP/Cassette by CVPG "Flatulation punctuates the still night air and I thank God you 're here," is how Milo breaks wind over the rippling bass, squealbox guitar, and staccato drums on the title cut. When he' talks about "queefing" you get the feeling that this is one of those 'in' jokes Milo picked up when he left the band after '83 's Milo Goes To College, Fart Rock? - no; Frat Rock. maybe. Listen to 'Hurtin' Crüe" (a Husker Dü slur?) slam-dance the hippies who wanted them to play "Free Bird" at a club last March. Milo sings. "Thought school would be such a blast Just flunked another fucking class.' indicating. perhaps, why he returned to the fold. These guys just can't make it in the straight world. (See their sludge-rock number "Days of Blood" fur further details. They take their java breaks with the carelessness as they do their education in "Kids On Coffee,'' a double-espresso hop, the chorus of "BONUS, BONUS, BONUS" is the shriek of caffeine abusers on a terminal buzz. They can't even make up heir minds about what girls they want. "'80s Girl" runs down the hardbody beach-bunny mentality of easy sex and unfettered affiliation while "Sour Grapes" gives us the gripe of trying to grope a virgin groupie "I wanted her cherry/ I got...Sour Grapes." But whatever makes the DESCENDENTS tick, it doesn't really matter when you get great soda pop melodies like "Cheer," "Get the Time," and the raw sugar grittiness of their Beach Boys cover "Wendy" Somehow Milo's hark to bite to bleat voice wins you over no matter what the content. And drummer Bill Stevenson's change-up rhythms always hold the fierce chorus/bridge shifts, rock-solid and rolling steady (and makes you wonder how Black Flag let him get away from them). What it all boils down to is just a lot of fun hanging out with the guys. Just take the title as a suggestion and you'll know all you need. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
Enjoy! Restless, LP -And you surely will. . . DESCENDENTS have achieved some grace and some deep-rooted sensitivity while hanging on to that early barbaric spirit, making Enjoy! their most colorful and varied Collect on. To the left is the utterly disgusting title track (woe onto the PMRC!) to the right, the graceful pop maneuvering of "Wendy" (the Beach Boys track), and straddling the two are edgy love songs full of bile. Most commendable is the DESCENDENTS' simultaneous commitment to pop and hardcore sensibilities, confusing and fusing the two with a raw energy worthy of the best of both genres. There's no reason to ban tracks like "Cheer" or "Wendy" from any new music format, also enjoyable are "80's Girl," "Sour Grapes," the seven-minute "Days Are Blood" and "Green." - - - - -
"Post-grad Punk" by Derk Richardson
The DESCENDENTS stopped over
in the Bay Area for two shows last week, at the tail end of their
three-month U.S. tour and prior to returning to the recording studio.
At Berkeley Square. before a crowd that was half-bemused and half-launched
into slamdance heaven, they did their best to exorcise any lingering
spirits of higher education. Guilty pleasures The DESCENDENTS are unrepentantly sexist and obnoxious and preoccupied with the carnal desires and anxieties of adolescence. But their records and their shows provide some of the better guilty pleasures of mid-'80s rock - like that gross slab of pizza, dripping oil and heaped with artery-clogging cheese and pepperoni, or like that third cup of coffee that puts you over the edge of mere edginess. Milo, bassist Tony Lombardo and drummer Bill Stevenson put just enough structure and melody into their high-speed thrash to color the white noise (without pushing into Ramones-ish pop). Lombardo and Stevenson sometimes add ragged "harmonies" to Milo's raspy ranting. And guitarist Ray Cooper, like Lombardo and Stevenson, can actually play his instrument, plunging tightly coiled leads in between the blistered chords. When the DESCENDENTS took the stage unannounced at 11 pm, lean and lanky Milo, with his boot camp haircut and strapped-on glasses, looked more like an AWOL recruit than a post-grad. Lombardo bounced around bare-chested, Cooper stood motionless near his amp, cranking out the chords, and Stevenson played most of the set in nothing but his briefs. In 30 minutes the quartet dashed off about 20 songs, among them old favorites such as "Suburban Home," "Marriage" and "I'm Not a Loser," as well as most of the newer songs, including "Christmas Vacation" and "Pervert." After playing "DESCENDENTS," their rousing call to arms -"We're looking for a few good men/ Degenerates need not apply/. - .We're the proud, the few" - they walked off. They had played little more than a half hour. - - - - -
"Down
Again With The DESCENDENTS"- Growing Up With LA's Positive
Thrashers by Mike Gitter The responsibilities of adulthood. The pressures of relationships. The opportunities. and the liabilities, presented by the simple task of growing up. When The DESCENDENTS, longtime residents of the Los Angeles hardcore circuit. address these matters in their tunes. they're saying that it's alright to feel strongly, even in an era when everybody seems to be seeking the outside edge of coolness. Their songs fail to take the antagonistic stances embraced by most of he hardcore, and their fervored loud/fast barrage is tempered with a melodically soulful edge. Since their 1979 formation, and with each record from the first single. Ride the Wild, to their recent Enjoy LP, the group has left no facet of teen angst unexamined, from failed relationships to the joys of farting. And their feelings ring true to all who know what it isle grow up in suburbia. In their new line-up. the DESCENDENTS are more of a unit than ever before with each member contributing his own unique style to the overall sound. Bill, drumming in the same "ton of bricks" fashion as his idol, Bill Ward (ex-Black Sabbath) keeps the back bone razor sharp and jazzy, often erupting with actual drum leads. Diminutive bassist Doug leaps back and forth, pounding out a muscle-laden bass line while guitarist Ray urges forth with a melodic rhythm. Milo, contorting his body, glares out at the crowd and begins to croon. There's no screams. barks, or caterwauls from this lad, the Milo can sing; man, can he sing! Songs such as the last album's classic "Silly Girl" or the band's cover of the Beach Boys' "Wendy" demonstrate their amazing proficiency at a variety of styles. They're the kids down the block. people you've grown up with, and just regular guys. The DESCENDENTS are the voice of sanity in a world we call our own. Welcome to it. - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
- Enjoy! Restless by Jon Matsumoto With a roll of toilet paper on the cover and a title track dedicated to bizarre bathroom fetishes, this album shows no signs that these South Bay punkers are ready to concede to the pressures of adulthood. In fact, the irreverent quartet seems to be receding farther into the "Animal House" wing of the hard-core movement. Full of lowbrow frat humor, Enjoy! is not an album for feminists, socialites or anybody who'd be offended by lyrics about "spilling innards on my dreams." But this LP will appeal to those taken by spirited thrash and catchy power-punk pop. Any band that can brew both a tasty, revved-up version of the Beach Boys' "Wendy" and a seven-minute Doorsian psychodrama that would make Henry Rollins envious deserves applause. Listen and ENJOY! - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
- I Don't Want to Grow Up New Alliance/SST, LP by Mike Gitter
The DESCENDENTS plunge fist
first into an intense power pop Sound that never relents in terms
of the bands punk rooted energy Musically, drummer Bill Stevenson
dominates with actual drum leads fronting the sound as well as - - - - -
"HARD-CORE
WITH HEART" DESCENDENTS - I Don't Want To Grow Up by Jon Matsumoto
The DESCENDENTS are one of the
most underrated local bands of any genre. On its
If the DESCENDENTS have a star,
it's drummer Billy Stevenson, the creative spark - - - - -
DESCENDENTS Bonus
FAT Spot, prod. New Alliance NAR 025 Starting out like everyone else with a handful of overlooked sides here and there, the DESCENDENTS emerged from LA's South Bay scene in 1981 with their FAT EP, which sounded like the finest joke that punk (not hardcore) had produced since the Ramones. But where those New Yorkers plied jaded, fake street-smarts, the DESCENDENTS tempered punks fury' with goofy, West Coast ennui. That eight-song EP, coupled with both sides of a 1979 single, has now been re-issued as BONUS FAT, and it confirms this groups stature as the original 11-second wonder. That's the actual length of "Wienerschnitzel," the story of a boy and his fast-food lunch. It is, as far as I can document, the first song over to mention bull sperm, and its 15-second companion piece, "I Like Food," is almost as short and to the point. Other highlights include "Mr. Bass" about the fish, not the guitar, and the humorously scabrous "My Dad Sucks" There was always more to this joke than first met the ear. "Hey Hey," for example, is a catchy, Who-like anthem, while "Ride the Wild" is a first-rate pop song with a tuneful, faintly Spanish guitar solo from Frank Navetta, who offers solid riffing and bracing single-note runs throughout. Lead vocalist Milo's adenoidal, throat-searing every-punk shout is just flexible enough to match his mood changes and make each song stand out - - - - -
DESCENDENTS
- I Don't Want to Grow Up LP by "J. B." A superb second LP from the DESCENDENTS. The first thing that hits you is its schizophrenic character -- Side One presents more of their catchy garage punk with satirical and scatological themes (some of which are overtly sexist), whereas Side Two highlights a newer sound that combines irresistible pop or countrified melodies heavy punk guitars, and sensitive, reflective lyrics. I actually prefer the latter (especially "Silly Girl" and "Good Good Things"), which seem to result from Bill Stevenson's (ex-BLACK FLAG) influence. (New Alliance, P. 0. Box 21, San Pedro, CA 90733) - - - - -
THE DESCENDENTS
Milo Goes to College, New Alliance, LP Perfect for the little guy who was ever called a nerd and never got the girl. The "chain-saw pop" combined with earthy humor conveys what is an often inarticulate teen-age rage. - - - - -
"Anarchy
In Redondo Beach" by Matt Groening "Welcome to Der Wienerschnitzel." says a polite little counterman. "May I take your order please?" "Yeah," answers the customer. "I want'' and suddenly a torrent of the purest desire mixed with the purest consumer hysteria begins to rise from his throat, gets caught somewhere in the esophagus, and then bursts free in Southern California hard-core punk violence ' "TW0 LARGE COKES! TWO LARGE FRIES! CHILI CHEESE DOG! LARGE DR. PEPPER! SUPER DELUXE WITH CHEESE AND TOMATO!' The counterman ought to be hiding behind the sort drink dispenser after this; he hasn't even blinked. "Would you like incomprehensible on that?' he asks. The customer doesn't blink either. He expected this. He's been to Der Wienerschnitzel before. "NO!" The
customer (the singer) is one Milo, described in a press release
as "skinny, with tense face and one hand gripping his pants
leg." The band is the DESCENDENTS. Since Milo sounds like a
drill sergeant, ancestors include not only - - - - -
by Bruce Kalbero
PROFESSIONAL ERROR: Do you ever read that slick British periodical the FACE? Graphically, in terms of visual art and design the publication is so intricately visual, like WET magazine on LSD, and its sense of color, space, and proportion is so tight that it may be difficult to hold back an orgasm. You may want to fuck it. And the people are beautiful, stylish, cosmopolitan, trendy post-post-Clockwork-orange-haired-Hawaian-mods from Sheperd's Bush (a London version of Downey) video-shocked Dorian Gray or anybody beautiful or perfectly ugly. So you hump it again right on the floor if no one's looking because you're an animal. American dogs! With that in mind we should inform you that it's a professional mistake in the classy music magazine biz to do an article on a group that may be unpredictably dropping members, artistically changing style, and continually failing rotten tarts. The JAM probably never farts. Well there you have the DESCENDENTS. Another reason not to write this article is that the DESCENDENTS claim to have no local following after playing together for 3 years as a band. RELAX, WE'RE GONNA MAKE A POINT: OK.. . as a band, the DESCENDENTS aren't slick, mod, punk, rockabilly, gay, drugged or bizarre. Now if you're really into that slick stylized British act, you probably feel that you've wasted your money buying NOMAG, but at the same time you want to keep in touch with the Los Angeles scene so that you don't fall out of touch with "what's happening" locally. FLIPSIDE Fanzine is great for local coverage of the scene but you'll probably run into a similar problem with them. FLIPSIDE is a little primitive compared to the FACE just like this rag. We want to emphasize a point, to those with more refined taste, before we chatter about the DESCENDENTS. What do you think you're reading? That's right, it's a fuckin' NOMAG, and we never make mistakes. Right now, you're riding in our Cadillac over smooth country highway ... with a Bible in your lap. Relax man. Our lob is to inform you and in this case we feel that we can find you the perfect compromise between cosmopolitan rock fashion trends and the crude local hardcore excitement. If you're interested in a kinda slick, glossy commercial paper with some English groups, you should go buy a recent issue of the PACE, then buy some Liquid Plumber and drink it... then when you get the urge, sit on your new FACE. When you're all done, you'll have something closely approximating a new issue of NOMAG. Your new issue will be loaded with English groups. Then go drop dead. Chainsaw Pop!
FUCK HOLLYWOOD: Hollywood's all right if you like saxophones. We were fucking up. Jules Bates, the photographer, and myself were attempting to virtually blow-up 2 or 3 Hollywood nightclubs. We had these military smoke-bombs that looked like a 12 inch stick of TNT from a Gene Autry flick, once one of those suckers catches the smoke is as thick as cement. One stick can totally obscure an entire city block for 5 minutes in a brisk breeze. We put one under a table at the Cathay De Grande downstairs, Jules delayed the fuse with a cigarette so we hung out. 10 minutes. We came back downstairs and this Westwood girl was sitting in the booth with her Westwood jock retard boyfriend who was probably mastering in "Repressed Homosexuality" (he didn't have a Sergeant Pepper moustache yet) or "Advanced French Fries" at UCLA. The fuse had apparently dudded, but that 12-inch smoke bomb was almost resting against her crotch. She had her legs spread apart beneath the table and the smoke bomb was taped against the bench in the booth pointing I imagined right at her clit. I've never felt that much animosity toward women that I would blow up one's clit arbitrarily. Do you know the story of Fatty Arbuckle? We could laugh it off as a Hollywood tradition. Jules and I still thought it might go off. That hunk of "Repressed French Fries" from the mid-west (he had to be) would never understand me crawling between her legs beneath the table holding a 12-inch phallic explosive, groping like a jerk. We told them some dumb excuse to get under the table. She seemed pleasantly surprised to receive the attention. Jules insisted on hitting the more classy and trendy clubs. Punk rockers would love It. Jules wanted to attack the rich. I thought that I was nuts and that because he had a lucrative (by my standards) profession, he would be normal. He blew off a couple of his fingers once. He must have stuck them somewhere where they shouldn't have been. There's more but forget it. I headed down toward San Pedro and caught the DESCENDENTS show a few times. Chuck Dukowski was right. They were a great band! The audiences in the South Bay are really different than in Hollywood. If you're from Hollywood there is an immediate impression of racing hormones mixed with grease coursing through the veins of the entire crowd. The DESCENDENTS evolving style has been sifted through that fast, faster slam-o-basho Beach style punk (ADOLESCENTS, BLACK FLAG "Nervous Breakdown") which keeps Hollywood aesthetes in more graceful surroundings. Over-productive adolescent glands and greasy food probably created a whole generation of hyper-kinetic fast-food-fast-movers termed surf-punks (why?) and they scare the fuck out of the bloodless crowd of arthritic Hollywood aesthetes. The only biological similarity between the two groups is that the blood of both groups contains enough grease that if you poured gasoline in their mouths and called them a Chevy, you could probably sell them to a cholo, if the light was dim enough. NEVER MIND HOLLYWOOD, HERE'S THE DESCENDENTS! What the hell is a Hollywood aesthete? If any aesthetes do show up anywhere in Los Angeles, it could only be at LAX while transferring flights. Aesthetes in Hollywood? You know, that's what everybody who writes this sort of crap rattles off.., or am I dreaming It and I've revealed my prejudice which was hidden. Suburbans are clods. That's the implication of the term. A writer has to throw words around like confetti, take a pull of the bull (bull?) . . . yeah, the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull (crash!), there's no substitute for dirty innuendoes and bitchy little catch phrases if you want to entertain a reader. Hollywood aesthetes? Ha! Hollywood Shitheads. See it's easy. Anyway, Hollywood Shitheads tend not to associate a great deal with Orange County Shitheads, or Beach Shitheads, or lust Suburban~Shitheads in general. The DESCENDENTS are Beach Shitheads. When I first heard them live I thought ..... loud, fast, punk rock.. ." but I know my life of sin and addictions has left me a bit retarded (an aesthete). The point I want to make about the DESCENDENTS is that their songs are really bitchin' pop oriented pieces. They seem to know where they want to take their music beyond the restrictions of any prevailing style. I really like good songs wherever they come from, you know, Al Martino's "Spanish Eyes" (Italian Shithead) or whatever. What's really cool about the DESCENDENTS is that they're piecing together a melodic pop music out of the roots of hardcore punk without becoming jerkoff, phony, two-faced, trendy wimps. They fart too much though.
CHAINSAW POP! THE FACE: Milo, the band's current singer, is quitting the band in the fall to go to school. Soon he will be a biochemistry student at UC San Diego. Milo seriously Intends to study genetic engineering. Maybe he'll clone himself or even better he could clone Elvira (place your orders) a few times, then a great many of us could satisfy our curiosity about her breasts. Whoops. You should go buy the FACE. It's really a much better magazine than this one. STAR TREK BABYLON: "HOW DO WE STOP THIS ARTICLE SPOCK?" "IT APPEARS TO BE A KLINGON ATTEMPT TO BORE THE CREW TO DEATH. LOGICALLY CAPTAIN YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL IT WITH YOUR PHASER BEFORE YOUR OWN BRAIN ROTS!" Greg Ginn and Chuck Dukowski are the only original members of BLACK FLAG ... NOMAG held a benefit at Club 88 in 1980 there were three bands listed on the marquee. Wayne, the owner, refused to allow BLACK FLAG to play. He also managed to make it a benefit for Club 88 instead of NOMAG, it was like being payed in monopoly money. There were enough bands playing that night that we were able to sneak BLACK FLAG in for a full set through the backstage door. Wayne never knew they played because he was busy in the office separating the real money from the monopoly money. That was their original line-up as far as I know, the one on the "Nervous Breakdown" EP, and the personnel has changed quite a bit since then. Henry Rollins is the band's 4th singer (maybe there have been 5 or 6 more that I don't know about). "WE'RE OVERHEATING CAPTAIN! THAT BORING ARTICLE HAS GOT INTO THE REACTORS. ISN'T THERE SOME WAY TO STOP IT SIR?" When Darby Crash decided that the GERMS were holding him back .... some black Baptist brothers tell me that their Sunday gospel choir is complaining about some white leatherboy leading a funk harp group, he's fuckin' up the heavenly groove from Radio KGOD, but the DJ with the superbeat, Mr. G., godfather of the silver Thumpasaurus Angelic Starfunkship Chariot, low, hydraulics with gangster whitewalls, customized Sounds from the man with the intergalactic transmitter, king of the Superfreakyfunkangelic, likes the boy's sound... can we count it off? 1.2.3.4-!), when Darby died the Germs of course were finished. BLACK FLAG has maintained its identity through a number of personnel changes. Bands are put together in different ways. The situation with the DESCENDENTS is similar to BLACK FLAG. If they change their lead vocalist the band will remain intact. 'CAPTAIN KIRK THIS IS SICKBAY. 14 MEMBERS OF THE CREW HAVE DIED FROM THIS ARTICLE AND 12 OTHERS ARE SERIOUSLY ILL. FOR GOD SAKES JIM, DO SOMETHING! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP IT BEFORE WE LOSE ANYMORE LIVES." "BONES, KIRK HERE. SPOCK THINKS HE HAS FIGURED OUT HOW TO STOP IT FROM GETTING ANY LONGER." Here's what the DESCENDENTS say they want to do musically: "We're trying to learn to play kind of like the BEATLES, but in our own way with a hard edge. But I don't think the BEATLES called themselves "pop" when they first did it. I think they lust called it fun and rockin' out. We're going to really grind on these songs. We don't talk about Reagan youth and leave-me-alone youth. We have zero songs about society. They're about girls and situations. Food. Well our songs aren't about food anymore."
END. - - - - -
|
You're
stopped at a crosswalk on Pier Avenue in Hermosa Then a true-life
punker complete with blue mohawk. leather jacket and chains walks
in front of your bumper. The first thing that comes into your mind
is, "Boy, is that guy out of place."
NOMAG
is big time. We don't fake it... but you probably know that. We
have a circulation of 2. We've got a copy and you were the sucker
who bought our last copy. We sold out of the last issue and now
we've sold out out this one. Well now it looks like the DESCENDENTS
may ruin our entire fuckin' career just when we were buying Vespas
and trying to look real continental.
MEET
THE DESCENDENTS: Chainsaw Pop. That's the title of the article (ouch!)
... they've been together for 3 years, Milo has been singer for
a year and a half, before that they had a girl singer. They used
to be fish-punks, and then they became food-punks. They would really
hate being called food-punks. They're not a punk band they insist.
They are a pop band and they don't play protest songs. The FAT
EP has a lot of songs about food and one fish-song 'Mr. Bass"...
Wienerschnitzel" is a 20 second long punk-pop art classic,
if Claus Oldenburg wrote a punk song it would be that song. The
DESCENDENTS refuse to play it live. They aren't food-punks. Laurie
Anderson eat your heart out. Did you ever hear the 1st BIG BROTHER
& THE HOLDING CO. album. Janis Joplin sings "I'm a caterpillar
crawling for your love ... I'm a pterodactyl flying for your love.
. ." Some real pop gibberish, they were fooling around. I hadn't
heard about the DESCENDENTS until recently. A couple things happened
simultaneously. I heard somewhere that this band from Hermosa Beach,
you know, killer surf-punks, bald shit-kicking cannibals. ... uhhh,
this 45 called FAT had gained some critical acclaim with
the intelligent NYC liberal weeklies, the VOICE or the SOHO NEWS.
I kept running into Chuck Dukowski from BLACK FLAG. He was going
out 7 nights a week catching every punk band in So. Cal., no matter
how fresh from the garage. I guess he had some time off because
he was heavily into hanging out. Chuck kept telling me that the
DESCENDENTS were a great band. "Check 'em Out, they're really
great," he said.
PLUG:
Look for a DESCENDENTS album produced by Spot, the Wernher von Braun
of the SST hardcore sound. It'll be out when they're done with it.
If
you have the FAT EP, you must have tried to figure out what
the waiter asks the customer after he has ordered the fries, burger
and coke. The lyric sheet doesn't include that last line and it
goes real fast. The waiter asks "Do you want Bill's sperm with
that?" ... he was supposed to ask "Do you want ketchup
with that?" but apparently Bill, the drummer, likes to jack-off
to the Wienerschnitzel coupons. Bill says "It's like reading
PLAYBOY and you can't have it. You read Wienerschnitzel and you
can't have it because you're broke. I went there the other day,
it was pretty good! It was fun when I went there." "CAPTAIN,
MY CALCULATIONS INDICATE THAT THIS ARTICLE IS BEING WRITTEN ON A
TYPEWRITER. DESTROY THE TYPEWRITER AND THE ARTICLE MUST END."
"BRILLIANT SPOCK! BUT WHAT ABOUT THE RETARD WRITING THE ARTICLE?"
"HE CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY ANOTHER ONE CAPTAIN." "FIRE
ALL PHASERS FULL POWER AT THE KLINGON TYPEWRITER! WHEW! WE CAN RELAX
NOW ... DO YOU EVER GO TO GAY BARS SPOCK, THEY'RE KIND OF FUN?!"
"ALL VULCANS ARE GAY CAPTAIN, I THOUGHT YOU KNEW THAT."